Gramps got up and called out to Noni to do just one or two things but then wanted to be on his own to manage the rest. She was hovering in there until Gramps said Mom you are done now, you can go and leave me to do the rest myself. She was a bit hurt but we agreed that it is because he is trying to regain his confidence and his stamina and his independence, all good things. But it is a bit tricky for her because there are still somethings that he needs help with so she has to be on call.
His morning oatmeal ritual is a good example. I am hoping that he soon tries to take on the job of making his oatmeal in the morning. There is a set ratio for oatmeal and sugar to water and a set time for the oatmeal in the microwave, mysteriously 1.29. But the measuring devices are a particular spoon and a particular glass and the ratio is 5 spoons to a certain spot on the glass for the water, but it is hard to know how full the spoon needs to be and getting the right level in the glass for it to be just right. I did the oatmeal duty only once since I arrived, too treacherous for me so Noni is still doing that and it often ends up too watery. So hoping he steps up soon and makes his own.
I am nearly done sorting the sewing room which is good because my guy arrives tomorrow and there had to be enough room to pull out the trundle bed so he has a place to sleep. In my sorting I have found a number of apron patterns, a few that I had made for Noni in years passed. There was an apron that Noni had saved to make a pattern from so she found all the supplies and I made that. I am guessing that will go home with me.
At 12.30 I had to head up to The Elliott's for Lucca's party which turned out to be the classic so city party where all the rels and friends come, so often not many kids, mostly adults. But plenty of presents and a chance to see a lot of people. Noni really wanted to go but she did not want to leave Dad alone and she wanted me to go.
They were sitting watching the game when we got back and seemed a little bit subdued. Mike arrived with a few of the cold beers from the party and helped us relocate the exercise bike to the patio and pull out the trundle. Noni came back a few time to stick her head in but did not say much. GRamps came back too and was amazed. But They just both seemed a bit fragile. Martinellis left and I could hear NandG talking in the den but when I went in to see them they were pretty closed. So just a few signs that all was not well and it just reminded me that this is the way our little family always dealt with anger and resentment, if there was a something that was brewing it brewed silently and often one person would have to become the messenger to the others, this is the way it worked. It makes for a quiet uncomfortableness and you feel like you need to sneak around if you are doing something.
I was on alert to move The oxygen machine when they started getting read for bed but really they are trying to do almost everything themselves.
So they were both in dads room together and I could see that they were really down. I decided to break the silence and encourage them to say what they wanted to say, I told them that we all knew how hard this was for them and I was just so proud of them for making tough decisions and working their way through them together. mom broke down and sobbed and gramps although already in bed started to cry too. I put my arms around Noni and she just sobbed, it was so heartbreaking. I said to her Mom you know that I am the very best person in the world to clean out you sewing room, and she agreed. But that is just one space, she will be thinking of all her other things she has kept around her and feeling sure that no one will value them like she has. Tough stuff.
Although she knows I have been working in the sewing room she has not wanted to come in see how I am sorting and go through families of items yet so cannot be sure that we will get that far. Just have to go day by day. But I hope last nights little breakdown will help them feel stronger.
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